It has been quite a long time I didn't update all my social media platforms, included my favorite apps Instagram. I don't even have time to scroll it, then you know how busy it is. Precisely, it's not busy. It is just me can't take any time off, even 5 mins, from a day to update my social media. Or I should say, I also do not have anything to update, except problems that bothering me recently.

Finally my assigned project during internship was accomplished. Although still left like 20% to clear up and hand over it to another new intern, I feel much relieve. Actually the project was planned to run 6 months till the end of this month, July. But my manager requested me to finish in June, and I tried my best to done all departments before end of June. Imagine all things squeeze together, and no one is helping me. That's why I am missing. On the other hand, I feel quite stress during that time, even a little depress. One thing I have learn is people screw you and scold you for nothing, even its not your fault nor related to you. People tend to pick a bone in an egg, which means nonsense. Tears started welling up in my eyes after I walked out the office. This called society. It gave me a lesson that school didn't happened to register as a subject for us. Crying doesn't make me feel any better. I realize that doing my jobs outstanding can make others' keep silent. While my dept head is so inspiring, and I feel thankful for all the guidance and advices she gave me. Also, all my colleagues and my supervisor. I wouldn't had gone so far without their constant support. I hope my project can make a little contribution and benefits the whole company, then my effort will not be worthless. I give a rate of 7 out of 10 to myself. I still need a lot of improvement in term of skills, managerial style, stress management, etc. This is only a small part of society. I have a lot more upcoming challenges to undergo. My department's manager, HR manager, and MD everyone are so look up on me. They give me so much opportunities, which I finally decided to reject all of them. And this lead me to my second problem.


Many of my friends get their permanent job by continue working in same company, if not then would be in the interview and job searching process already. While I still haven't touch anything about it. I still figuring what I want, what I really really want. Many of them would say, "Find a job you like and you won't work a day of your life". First, jobscope I took up during internship wasn't too bad, but still it's not my interest. They offered me another position with more active and imagination jobscope, but still I am not sure whether it works on me or not. I don't know I will like it or not. "Why don't you try then you will know!" At this point, I am really hard to make any decision. Those interns who get to try things they like, I would say you're lucky. I don't know what I like, but I know what I don't like. I need sometime to figure out what I want to take up in my career path. This is so much harder than in school. Decision you make today will impact your future. This is making me headache, which I need someone to give me some advices and their viewpoint about my opinion. I am stuck at somewhere and I seriously need someone to talk to. And now this leads me to my third problems.


I planned to stop working for 1 or 2 months after internship, which I can have my time to go find my passion for life again. Working took all my time. While this holiday is for me to fully charged my energy before I am back to working life. And this definitely included my graduation trip which I awaiting for so long! But life is not always a bed of roses, and I forgot that people tend to change. And this time I got my heart so shattered. I find it tough to make new friends (real friends not hi-bye friends) and I hardly trust new people. I used to get really upset over those friends who broke their promise... It's like you receive a slap on your face and you thought they won't do it. And when you get hurt repeatedly, you realize you shouldn't go any extra mile and your worth at the end of the day. I think it is time I should learn to let it go, take things easier and grow out of that "emo" stage.


It will be more than a lengthy post if I continue writing. I think it's the end of this post today. My post today are filled with negative ions haha...so I will end it with a positive quote, "Stay strong, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it never rains forever." Stay positive! The best is yet to come :)